Don't Believe

by Damned Praise

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about

This song is about a lot of things, but at its heart, it's a love song.

Over the past few years, I've been processing a lot, the majority being queer, neurodivergence-based, and/or religious trauma. My life has largely been defined until this point by narratives others placed upon me, and while it can be freeing to shed all this baggage I never asked for, the act is, itself, a traumatic experience. We don't really comprehend how crucial our support systems, down to our perpetually inadequate self-perception, can be until they're gone. At the same time, I am also a person with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which, for me at least, involves a dysfunctional lack of trust in one's own perception. "Unmoored" is a term I frequently ascribe to myself.

But I have a partner who has helped me learn to trust myself more and more over time. She has given me more than I could ever rightfully ask, and there's very little I believe in more than the deep commitment we have to each other's happiness, safety, and self-actualization.

Madeleine L'Engle said, “Love isn’t how you feel. It’s what you do.” I think we do a pretty good job of it.

lyrics

I don’t believe in luck
It’s just something that angry men made up.
I don’t believe the fates give a damn who I am.

I don’t believe that hard work gets it done.
That’s a rich man’s lie if I ever heard one.
I don’t believe necessarily in love.

I don’t believe in “meant to be.”
But if I did, I’d know you were meant for me.

I don’t believe in a Heaven or a Hell - just this hell.
Just the time we have and the stories that we tell.

I don’t believe good intentions mean a damn thing.
If I don’t believe in what they have to sell.

I don’t believe in “meant to be.”
But if I did, I’d know you were meant for me.

I often don’t even believe in the things that I can see,
and surely never how I feel.
I’m just terrified, like, all the time, but I know this one thing is real.

I don’t believe in “meant to be.”
But if I did, I’d know you were meant for me.

I don’t believe in a lot of things.
But in you and me, well, I believe.

credits

released February 14, 2023

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Damned Praise Chicago, Illinois

dead mall punk

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